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Oh Elvis, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me In This Wilderness Of Crappy Music? 03/21/2003 - 1:55 p.m. My ears! My ears! I just got back from getting my lunch at the Italian joint down the road, and I was assaulted the entire time I was in there by the local lite roq™ station. Specifically, by the monstrosity that is REM's "Everybody Hurts." Who likes this song? Anybody? Does anyone in the world hear this mess of schmuh and say to themselves, "Oh wow I sure was hoping to hear this right about now!"? My friends, I say no! I say it could not be possible! I mean, think of what this "song" consistes of: Petey Buck playing the most simple arpeggio in the history of the world for 5 minutes, with Mikey Stipe whining whining whining about how everybody has it tough and we should all just face up to it and keep going. A fine enough sentiment, to be sure, but please please please shut the eff up about it. You said it once, why say it again and again and again and again? Some days I wish I could go back in time and meet the grandfather of the man or woman who invented the lite roq™ and kill them, so the inventor would never have been born. And I won't even mention the horror of the song that followed REM's travesty of goodness. OK, yes I will. It was "I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner. Which, all things considered, was less unpleasant to listen to. For the 30 seconds I was still in the place before I ran screaming to my car. See what I did there? I went and moved my diaryring to a rings and reviews page! |
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