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<<< die Schatten der Vergangenheit<<< >>> es strahlt, die Zukunft>>>

Star Goobers

03/27/2003 - 2:19 p.m.


I just got back from getting lunch.

I got lunch today at the would-be fancy schmancy sandwich place that moved in to the scotch-tape mall across the street from my office last year. The would-be fancy schmancy sandwich place was so desirous of being the only sandwich place in the scotch-tape mall that they actually bought out the previously-existing sandwich place so they'd have no competition except from the Chicago-style pizza-oriented DinnerHut™ and the Italian fast food joint. Oh, and the grocery store.

They have some pretty good sandwiches and soup.

The would-be fancy-schmancy sandwich place, I mean.

Not the grocery store.

Anyway, the way the would-be fancy-schmancy sandwich place works is, the line of people waiting to order stands about 4 feet away from a bank of registers, where friendly happy cashiers call out "I can help the next guest" as though they inviited you over for lunch and are not about to charge you six bucks for one of their pretty good sandwiches.

They also ask your name so that the person who makes your sandwich can call your name out over the loudspeaker, instead of the number on your receipt. I guess this is supposed to contribute to the homey atmosphere and make you feel like a "guest" instead of a "customer."

So there is ole Red, standing in line for about 5 minutes, and there's Emilio von Goober behind ole Red, also standing in line waiting to order. I knew Emilio was there because I saw him approach the line from another direction as I got into it, so I knew he was behind me even though I left my revers-o-vision specs at home today.

In front of ole Red is Isaiah Cantwait. I knew that was his name because when the person in front of him moved up to the next available cashier, Izzy went right behind him, not stopping at the regular stopping and waiting spot to be called, and kinda mooshes up against the 4 people being served, mooning about, as though being there would make someone take his order any faster.

This is classic stoopidity, of course, but whatta ya gonna do? I just waited my turn and ignored him.

Then, from behind me, I heard something even stoopider than Izzo's behavior. This was the voice of Emilio von Goober, the yoyo who'd been standing behind me in line for the last five minutes, asking me if I was in line.

Now, I know that the layout of the place is a little puzzling, and if I was the only person in line I'd have had no trouble understanding why he'd be asking this question. Or if there were not five people crowded around the four cash registers, and I was holding up the line, I could have understood that too.

But he'd been standing in line behind me for five effing minutes, people! While the line moved forward, and me with it. Every time a "guest" got "invited" to the charge-a-torium, I moved up in rank, just like in that Star Trek episode with the evil Spock with the beard (except there was no assassination involved). And so did Emilio. Until I was at the head of the line, when he seemed to forget all about that, and suddenly wondered why I was in front of him.

What, I ask you, what the aitch?

Maybe it was really more like the Star Trek when there was the guy who kept moving his double between the normal universe and the anti-matter universe, and so sometimes he knew what was going on and sometimes he didn't.

Or, maybe, he was just a goober.

I'm going with that one for now.






See what I did there? I went and moved my diaryring to a rings and reviews page!


<<< die Schatten der Vergangenheit<<< >>> es strahlt, die Zukunft>>>

These are Japanese drummers. Yep, those are drums!

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