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Famous Monsters
02/20/2002 - 11:06 p.m.
So, life can't just be good for a coupla effing days. No, I have to wake up this morning with the dogmothering flu. Y'all remember the flu? Headache. Scratchy throat. Fever. And, glory of glories, the ever-loving "intestinal distress."
Not a terrible case of intestinal distress, but bad enough. I'll spare you the details.
So I took the day off. And you know you're sick when you take the day off, and you sleep. Ok, truth be told, along about 3 o'clock, I did lay down on the old couch and dig a truly disastrous British rip off of "The Fly" called "The Projected Man." Veddy veddy serious - and veddy veddy bad - I taped it - should provide some good found voices for some project or other.
But dig this weirdity - way back when yours truly was just a wee shaver, I used to have a pal who was super keen on Creature Double Feature movies and Famous Monsters of Filmland and the like.
Sidebar:Anyway, as I was saying, I had this pal who was way into that kinda stuff, and he used to have a picture up on his wall of a page from FMOF (Famous Monsters of etc), which featured a little-known blond starlet he was particularly taken with. I wouldn't have been able to dredge her name out of my psyche for a kajillion dollars, but danged if she wasn't in "The Projected Man." Right there walking around in her matching blue panty and bra set for half her screen time, Miss Tracey Crisp. Can't say I blame my pal, actually - she was mighty fetching. There's just something about a slim blond girl wearing hardly anything, crying her eyes out because they've been damaged by invisible laser beams......... gets ya right here.
For you younguns and non-Americans, Creature Double Feature used to be a standby on independent tv channels - they'd show the cheapest, tawdriest Godzilla ripoffs ever, often with a wacky monster-related host, usually a mad scientist or a vampire or an unspecified "ghoul." Nowadays, Creature Double Feature has been replaced by phone sex infomercials and religious programming. CDF-style shows existed for two reasons - one, they were cheaper than dirt to make - they payed almost nothing for the rights to show those movies, and two, the FCC used to mandate a certain amount of original programming on every station - they were trying to force a bit of a hometown feel on everyone. They seem to have relaxed that requirement in recent years.
Famous Monsters of Filmland was a magazine devoted to CDF-style movies, but without a hint of irony. Kinda like Premiere, only printed on recycled toilet paper.
End sidebar
Bonus Extra Super Cool Update:
Thanks to the uber-snazz Peth, I can now show you the photo my pal adorned his wall with..... and here it is!
And wuddya know? It's even from "The Projected Man!" Who knew?
Music to be sick by:
Lou Reed - "Berlin" (Berlin)
"In Berlin, by the wall, you're 5 feet 2 inches tall....."
See what I did there? I went and moved my diaryring to a rings and reviews page!
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