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Red's Chain Letter
03/21/2002 - 6:28 p.m.
I got one of those really irritating chain emails today. You know - send this to your friends in 5 mintes and you will have good luck blah blah filthy blah. I've decided to start my own, based on the one I got. Here's the original, followed by my version. Don't forget to forward to all friends.....
Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two
1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I'm with you.
2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.
13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends? Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!
You will Have Good Luck For Two Years if you send this to 8 people or more and if this is sent back to you then you are a true friend......
You must send it in 5 minutes or your good luck will run out.
><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
Read each of these carefully, and then think about how horrible your life is.
1. I love cheese not because of what cheese is, but because of who I am when I am eating cheese.
2. No onion or clove of garlic is worth your tears, and the one that is, will never make you cry.
3. Just because someone doesn't perform oral sex on you the way you want them to, doesn't mean you can't teach them how to do it better.
4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your clitoris and touches your G-spot.
5. The worst way to kiss someone is to have a mouth full of something kinda gross, like liver, or raw oysters, or pimento loaf.
6. Never sneer, even when you are feeling terribly superior, because you never know who might be peeved by your irritating smugness and smash your face in.
7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person, you may be really frigging annoying.
8. Don't waste some good oral sex on a man/woman who isn't willing to make sure you get off too.
9. Maybe Cujo wants us to meet a few people who treat us like dirt before meeting one who only treats us like dirt part of the time, so we'll know how fricking good we have it.
10. Don't cry because you got mugged and all your money was stolen, smile because they didn't kick your teeth down your throat when they had the chance.
11. There's always going to be people that hurt you, so you might as well just embrace your inner masochist and learn to enjoy it, you whiny little twerp!
12. Make yourself a better sandwich and know how to make it again before you try to get someone else to make you a sandwich.
13. Don't beat the eggs so hard, the best scrambled eggs come from a light, gentle whipping.
REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS BECAUSE YOU ARE A BAD PERSON.
True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends? Hardly anyone I know, and certainly not you, you spineless cheesefish! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!! Too bad you can't say the same!
Forward this to 80 people you have never met before within 10 seconds of receiving it, and you just might not get audited by the IRS this year. No promises, though.
Remember, you must send it in 10 seconds or the IRS will come and shoot you up with an insulin overdose.
Music to be curmudgeonly by:
Severed Heads - "Dead Eyes Opened"
"And then the storm broke with a violent crash of lightning, and an appalling clap of thunder....."
See what I did there? I went and moved my diaryring to a rings and reviews page!
about this entry?
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